


Professor Trump

by KittenKisses



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 23:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenKisses/pseuds/KittenKisses
Summary: After being kicked out of America, ex-president Donald Trump joins the Hogwarts faculty and starts the long, and often painful task, of taking over wizarding Britain.





	Professor Trump

Professor McGonagall had just begun the traditional start of year welcome speech, when she was interrupted by the sound of a chair scraping heavily against the polished wooden floor. She turned to face the source of the interuption and narrowed her eyes: a large, orange man, with bleach blonde hair and a black suit had just stood up.

He clapped his hands together slowly, sarcastically applauding the old lady. A few of the younger students joined in, adding their own confused claps, and looking awkwardly to the headmisteress for instruction. 

McGonagall pursed her lips but said nothing, returning to her seat with stiff irratation. 

Donald Trump (the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher) was preparing to make his first speech to the students of Hogwart's. 

Everyone was staring at him: unsure what to make of this strange, sweaty man who had so rudely interrupted their esteemed Headmistress.

"Mmkay." He began, his nasal voice echoing in the silence of the hall. "As you've all probably heard my name is Donald, Jay, Trump." (He emphasised each syllable with a sharp stab of his fingers, threatening anyone to forget) "And it is a great honour for me to join you here tonight as President..."  (He looked questioningly at McGonagall who shook her head and mouthed the word "Professor") "...Professor of this great school."

A few students clapped shakily but he shut them down.

"Thank you. Thank you. Please, save your applause for later."

The clapping stopped and Trump looked a little put out.

"As I was saying." He continued. "All my life I have dreamt of this moment. The moment when I would stand before you, a Hogwarts Pres... Professor with the ambition and drive to mould the next generation of wizards, into loyal and powerful magic machines."

The students looked confused and McGonagall stood to speak but was soon shut down by Trump's constant interuptions and shouts of "No!" Eventually, she gave up and sat back down.

"Now." He continued. "I know what you're thinking... And you're right." He raised a tiny hand to his head, flattening the hair that seemed to be crawling across his scalp. "It hasn't been easy for me. Just last year my father gave me a small loan of one million galleons to bribe the minister into getting me this position. But, through my hard work and determination I have finally managed to leave my disadvantaged roots behind me and make a name for myself."

He paused for dramatic effect.

"My name is Trump. Trump is here and it is my aim to bring back the great values this school once held. I WILL make Hogwarts great again!"

He pounded his fist in the air and began to chant.

"Make Hogwarts Great! Make Hogwarts Great!"

When nobody joined in he sat back at the staff table, brooding silently for the rest of the evening. 

He would have to find another way...


End file.
